Friday, February 18, 2011

Rules of Parenthood

Yesterday morning was a weekday much like any other, or at least that's what I thought upon getting up. I made coffee, showered and got dressed as I normally would, unaware of the grave error that I was about to commit. Around 7:20 I went into my little seven-year-old Brianna's room and began the process of rousting her out of bed. Every school day I go in, make a ruckus of turning off the fan, turning on the light and saying "Good morning! Time to get UP!". I remove all covers, pillows and items of comfort until she just curled into the fetal position in the middle of her bed. Then I begin picking out her clothes and usually by the time I'm done with that she's began shivering enough that she is motivated to get out of bed and into her clothes. Yesterday, however, at the end of the process, my sweet little one just glared at me and growled...yes, growled. I was about to get upset when I school today! I couldn't really believe I had committed such a grave error. I hastily threw pillows and blankets back into place, turned on the fan and shut off the light all the while apologizing profusely for being such an idiot.

And so I've done it, broken one of the cardinal sins of parenthood, and woken my child on their day off. To some parents, perhaps they can shrug this off, but not me. See, I have a list of parenting commandments  in my head that are not to be broken, and "Thou shalt let thy child sleep on holidays, snow days and weekends" was on that list. Now I really have to watch it on some of the others lest I end up in parenting hell, (which is not, as it turns out, may or may not be Chucky Cheese).

Thou shalt not show pictures of my daughter in the bathtub to her prom date

Thou shalt not tell cute pottytraining stories to my daughters friends during their sleepovers

Thou shalt immediately halt "hugs n kissies" when dropping my daughter off at school

Thou shalt not attempt to use the same slang that my daughter & friends are using to appear "cool"

Thou shalt not ever wear a fanny pack on a family outing

Thou shalt not pick up my daughter from school in my robe

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