Sunday, January 2, 2011


Well, we got all the holiday decorations down, packed and back in storage last night. This is most definitely a new record to which I partially credit, "Operation Downsize" for less decorations and a much smaller tree this year.

In packing away the Christmas crap, I inevitably discovered a few more sets of lights that didn't work. I am a firm believer in the notion the life is far too short to mess with non-working christmas lights. I have no problem going out and buying replacements rather than wiggle each little bulb in some sad effort to locate the bastard bulb causing the whole string to go bad. On the other hand, I also apparently have difficulty throwing away the dead strings of lights, and I end up with a tangled mess of junk. I've decided to combat this terrible problem of mine by snipping off the bulbs and then making a list of creative uses for the old string of lights. Without further ado, I give you 100 uses for a dead set of holiday lights (well, not really a 100, what kind of time do you people think I have?!):

1) Use it to lasso a badger
2) Make a clothesline
3) Strangle the next person who cuts in front of you in line at Walmart
4) Make a leash for your pet ferret
5) Put up a Tarzan swinging rope in your back yard
6) Make a whip for your weekend S&M sessions
7) Friendship Bracelets!!!
8) Tie one end to a dead tooth and the other to a doorknob & then slam the door
9) Make homemade matching outfits for you & Lady GaGa
10) Tie up your children
11) Build a trap for woodland creatures
12) Pretend it's a pet snake
13) Build a rope bridge to your mailbox
14) Use it to tie logs together for a raft
15) Heavy duty fishing line
16) Make your child homemade braces

Any further suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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