Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Showering With My Mom

Hey everyone, whip out your calenders! January 19th through January 26th is the RV show at the new and improved Lake County Fairgrounds. You all know I've been walking around in a turgid state, (Wiki that shit!), for like a month now waiting for the RV show and now it is a mere 2 weeks away!! I couldn't be more excited if Elton John himself were going to be there. (Not that Elton has anything to do with RVs, I just like to combo platter my passions).

For the last several months I've been perusing what Heather calls my "RV porn", drooling over the keyboard while gawking longingly at everything from vintage '76 Mini-Winni's to the latest model Airstream. Now I finally get to stand among these gentle giants, the sequoias of motor vehicles, to breathe in that sweet new-rv scent, to mount the drivers' seat like a rugged (yet kind-hearted) cowboy and pretend that I'm atop my trusty ol' paint headin' home after a long ride on the dusty trail.

I really can't wait to see all of the latest options available in action, like the bathrooms where you aren't sitting in the shower when you're on the toilet. This was a serious pet peeve of both Heather and I from the beginning. While I am not entirely against occasionally peeing in the shower, there is something terribly wrong with doing your business on a toilet that sits smack dab in the middle of the shower.

Maybe this serious design flaw is intended to do one thing...get you to take shorter showers. I mention this notion of shorter showers because nearly every RV we've ever looked at, with the rare exception of some behemoth buses that are the size of a city block, in nearly every one, the size of the hot water tank is six gallons. Six gallons, as in, the number before seven. I really couldn't believe this when I researched it, I mean, hell, I piss more than six gallons a day, how could this be?!

Of all of the odd conundrums that have arisen in my mind when I imagine living in an RV full time, it may surprise you to learn that this six-gallon water heater is my greatest fear. I love my long hot showers...really love them. I can't honestly fathom how it could be possible to shower with six gallons, is this not America? And what about when you have guests stay over? I remember this little apartment my aunt had when I was a kid. Whenever we stayed overnight, all the kids would have to take a shower together or else they would run out of hot water. That's fine for the kids, but what if my Mom visits?

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